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I’ve been talking about my political science course a bit here and it seems that each time I attend this class there is something atrocious I feel the need to talk about. The professor is, in my opinion, not a professor at all, but rather seems to be sitting in the classroom to collect a paycheck and spew racist, misogynist, white supremacist bullshit. I have kept quiet in class the past week, even leaving early once because I felt so filled with rage I was on the verge of saying things I would probably later regret.
I am at a community college in a small town in California, where I’m from. I was previously enrolled at San Francisco State University for about four years until I ran into financial barriers and also decided to change my major. Now I haven’t taken the time to process that I came from a school that was extremely liberal (still, side-eye) to a community college in a mostly conservative town, until today. Today I decided to volunteer to give my oral presentation (which we will be doing the rest of the semester until all students have presented) so that I could get it over with and focus on other things. We were to choose a topic that is currently in the news and present it, and present whether we agree or disagree with the article/actions.
I chose to speak about the murder of Michael Brown and the increased militarization of local law enforcement. I had gone into the presentation thinking, “this class is filled with young, mostly brown, students, this should be simple.” I could not have been more assuming. Almost everyone in the class disagreed with my arguments that there should be more accountability to the resources police forces are receiving from the Department of Defense, and that the murder of Michael Brown was indeed about race (I caught an argument from the professor saying I wasn’t allowed to call it a murder since it hasn’t gone through trial). Of course all the folks that were disagreeing with me were the white folks in the classroom trying to say “what would you do if he charged at you?” HOLY SHIT I WAS SO LIVID MY LIP WAS TWITCHING AND I HAD TO REMIND MYSELF TO BREATHE.
I haven’t been in school for about a year and a half, let alone in a conservative environment, so I suppose my arguments were not very well put together because I was nervous being in front of a large class—but I thought they were fairly solid compared to the arguments the other students were throwing at me. One student was trying to say that police officers need all of this equipment for riot control, and cited an incident that happened in Isla Vista at “Deltopia” (white college kids’ street party, turned drunken mayhem). How can you even compare the two? HOW CAN YOU EVEN SAY THAT THIS IS EVEN CLOSE TO BEING ON PAR WITH THE MURDER OF A BLACK TEENAGER. Privileged white college kids drunk is not the same as murdered black men/women. GOD.
I ended up going in with the teacher of the class because he kept interrupting me during my arguments to offer his arguments. He would not let me even finish what I was saying and cut me off to spew more of his racist shit and I let the motherfucker know I was not gonna have it.
So yeah, this is my 8am class. Jesus, give me the strength.
I hereby declare a vendetta on all forms of “wait, are you gay?” inquisitions. No longer shall I feel anger, embarrassment, trapped, or humiliated by another’s compulsive need to define the world in their terms. BYE